Observations at MD Anderson

I drove here alone today. Some of my loved ones seemed concerned about this, even offering to accompany me, but its been a great day. In fact, its been 4 hours since i got out of my appointment and i'm still here. Maybe i'm delirious from getting up at 4 am, or maybe its just nice to be able to sit at the computer uninterrupted...but it could also be that this place is a mecca for a people-watcher like me.

I really had no apprehension about coming by myself today; i figured it'd be an easy in and out type appointment. I'd planned on grabbing a bite at one of the Recommended Eateries suggested by my restaurant-critic-guru-friend, then heading home. My plans have changed, though. I now have another appointment tomorrow, so i've postponed my eating out exploration until then. It didn't even occur to me to bring my toothbrush.

This is my fourth time here; today being my first time back in weeks. Starting next week, i'll be coming everyday for 5 weeks. I figure i ought to get to know the place. Some things i've noticed seemed strange at first, but now have become part of the environment.

* There are no strangers. People don't hesitate to ask if you need help finding somewhere, whether they work here or not. People look you in the eyes with a knowing look of understanding. People don't hesitate to talk to you...to ask you "what are you in for?"

* I've overheard dozens of phone calls with the same conversations. The exact conversations i've had myself; "They just took some blood tests" "we're waiting on results" "i start treatment in a week".

* The word Cancer is seen everywhere. I've heard it used in conversations, seen it in numerous phamplets available and on posters, listened to doctors and nurses use it. Some times it starts to feel like a normal word in my vocabulary. Most times its still scary as hell.

* When i first sat down to write this, a bald lady was sitting to my right. Now there is a woman there with a wig on. (a nice one, at that!) A friend warned me that i'd see this, and its not as shocking as it first was. Today, I met a man who had just had his 2nd treatment and expected his hair to fall out soon.

* Emotions run the gamot. I saw 2 women crying in the bathroom, looked like a mother and daughter. I wondered what they were doing here; was one of them a patient? were they here with someone in treatment? I thought about when my mom was here; we were delirious and slap-happy. we laughed a lot. I've seen some grumpy folks here, too, but thats understandable. I might be grumpy and sick of this place eventually.

* I'm sitting by a window where the valet parking is. They help people get from their wheelchairs into their cars. They actually have to physically pick them up! They don't accept tips.
* People wearing facemasks.
* Languages and accents from all over the world.
* Prosthesises.
* Surprisingly enough, beautiful plants outside. Magnolias, hibiscus, rose bushes...all in the heart of downtown Houston.
* The mechanized sound of people talking with trachs...with the machines they use on their voicebox. (that one is still weird to me.)
* Strong will. Determination. Gratitude.