Monday, November 03, 2008

Later, Cancer!

Well, I had a trip to MD Anderson last week. For the next 4 years, I have to go every 3 months for a routine check-up, MRI and x-rays. On the 5th year, it will be 6 months apart. Most cancer's post-checkups are just twice a year, but i gotta be different! My-my-my- Sarcoma is a type that likes to grow back quickly, so they have to keep a frequent eye on it.

The good news is that everything is clear! The doctors all had good reports.

In other news, this thing is costing us an arm and a, um...maybe not the best euphamism....I guess NOT costing me a leg is priceless...but, geez! Every 3 months, those payments add up.

(return to state of gratitude.......)

SO: this post is to report that i had a GOOD report!
ALSO: i have started another blog:

While i have thoroughly enjoyed, and even relied, on this space to make it through a tough time, i have come to the realization that its time to move on. I actually have days now where i don't even think about CANCER. Recently, there was a time when i didn't know if i'd be able to say that.

Although i am thankful for my experience and all that i've gained from it, i'm SO pissed at Cancer right now. I came away relatively unscathed, but "It" is still messing with people. I have a young cousin fighting it hard, i have 2 dear friends fighting it, a friend's young grandson is fighting it and another friend just lost her father to it! IT SUCKS. Cancer sucks. It's scary as hell.

Going to MDAnderson always stirs up many feelings of last year. Now, I almost feel guilty traipsing in there, with all my hair, and being able to walk myself to where i need to be. How to reconcile feelings of guilt, gratitude, fear, joy is something i've about given up on. I thought i'd have some epiphanies to share....not yet. I'm just rolling with the punches, trying to make the most of each day.

Even though, today, i'm inclined to scoff at the following, most days i find it gives me strength.
I figured it'd be a better note to end on, than my moody tirade.

What Cancer Cannot Do:
Cancer is so limited...
It cannot cripple love
it cannot shatter hope
it cannot corrode faith
it cannot destroy peace
it cannot kill friendship
it cannot suppress memories
it cannot silence courage
it cannot invade the Soul
it cannot steal eternal life
it cannot conquer the spirit.
There, i feel better now.

No comments: